Moments of Clarity

Family Bike Ride

For a couple of Sunday's now, we've packed the little ones up in the bike trailer, attached it to the trusty Trek Super Duty F-250 diesel mountain bike, and headed down the wonderful Clive Green Belt bike trail.  There are numerous parks along the way so we'll stop and let the kids play, have some snacks, and head home. 

What I've found fascinating is how cleansing, bonding, and emotionally recharging this is.  It's not that often that the kids are harnessed and shoulder to shoulder for an hour and forced to listen to their dad ramble about butterflies, squirrels, and the mechanics of a flowing stream.  Steph and I get to chat while the kids play too.  That's something that can get lost in the day to day schedule of raising these two, work, etc.

I guess the feeling I get from this is best described as total alignment...and it's when my subconscious knows I'm doing something physically and psychologically beneficial with zero downside. 

If we repeat this type of activity, we'll be a better family unit over the long haul.  For those few hours yesterday...I was 100% in the moment with everyone and there's nothing like that. 

Do less people.  Breathe in your kids.  Experience nature.  Sweat a little.  Reclaim casual conversation with your wife. 

(Special thanks to Des Moines, Iowa for making this experience possible)   

Discipline

I was hanging out at my 4 year old boy's Karate class yesterday and struck up a conversation with another dad.  I asked him how long his boy had been doing this and what changes he'd seen in his kid.  He replied, "I've seen a big change in discipline and his listening skills over the last year and a half...he's really able to focus more now." 

Interestingly enough, some casual observation clearly defines a line between those who've been in a while, and the new boys.  New boys have hands in pockets, look around quite a bit more, and generally have that "little boy wandering mind" that I seem to have never lost (sorry Steph)  I look forward to seeing that change come about in my boy.  I don't want the little boy nature to go away...but I do want him to learn respect, discipline, and how application of oneself breeds success.

He paid attention so well last night that one of the instructors picked him out to do a "board break".  When she called his name, he BOLTED to the front, set up for a PALM STRIKE and executed complete breakage of a small pine board first try.  After his success, he sprinted to me and handed me that board with a glow that cannot be accurately described in words.  I choked back the tears of pride and watched him bow to the instructor as he returned to the line up. 

In that moment, my boy showed me a glimpse of his future as a man...and as his daddy...I had another moment of absolute clarity into the love a parent has for a child.  It was like a window opened into his heart and I saw inside.  He knew this was a special moment, as did I.

I've seen that look before in my daddy's eyes when he felt this way about me.  Those moments build your kids into the adults you wish them to be.  Have more of them.

Sunrise in Hot'Lanta

It's amazing how powerful face to face human contact is in the business relationship.  All of the emails and webinars in the world don't allow reconnection with your fellow man the way a social visit does.  Last night, I spent a couple hours reconnecting with old friends and clients while getting that "unfiltered communication" that comes when folks enjoy a few cocktails and tell you how they really feel.

As I look out the window this morning high above the earth (I took this photo 15 minutes ago), I can't help but dream of squeezing my loved ones and eating real food, making coffee at home, and chatting with the neighbors.  It's hard to imagine, but Spring is right around the corner.  Hold on...because soon we'll be cutting the grass a couple times a week and visiting Lowe's each weekend.  See how fast Winter races by...when you're running the race of life?    

Gaining Clarity on the 35th Floor

These are night and day photos from my room in Atlanta at the Marriott Marquis downtown.  I'm in the last stretch of this road trip and can't wait to get back home, even if it's been in single digit temps forever in Iowa.  I always begin to feel a bit disconnected after a week and I start to crave "that which I know and love":  The Panera crowd, blogging workshops, Bloganostra summit meetings, walking with my boy to pre-school, seeing our "family squirrel" (nicknamed Burger by my boy) romp from the front tree to the roof to the backyard where he torments my dogs...you know the simple stuff. 

The "busy-ness" level so far in 2007 (really began December 2006) is quite absurd but reaching critical mass in a few areas that will hopefully activate the relief valve soon.  I'm experiencing a situation where it's very difficult to get deep into something and use creative brain power.  Time constraints are forcing a skimming of the surface - mercenary type approach to business.  During these times, it's helpful to have start up or small company experience on your side.  Many that go through this blow up or crash because of sensory and task overload.  However, a good sense of prioritizing your "high value targets" and setting clear expectations will get one through. 

Anytime someone tells me they're at the end of their rope or just "in the red" I'm usually able to bring them back from the brink with some shared experience wisdom since, I've read this book before.    

Family Trippin'

We're in Harpersville, AL now, the result of a 16 hour Honda Odyssey minivan road trip with the family.  Our kids (2 and 4) have always loved long car rides and they really do well.   We spent one night in a hotel with the four of us and the two 60+ lbs dogs...and we had a blast! 

I really hope these early trips set the stage for family road trips around the United States from our central home base in Iowa.  These trips bring back so many memories of my Griswald'ish family trips including the 1984 circumnavigation of the United States by my mom/dad in a Toyota pick up truck.  Our truck had a carpet kit in the bed with homemade storage boxes and cabinets.  There was also a boot between the cab and the bed!  Yes, my parents put me in the bed of a truck for 10k miles...and I loved it!  Of course there were no seat belts or even seats for that matter.  "Don't let the suitcases crush you boy."  Back then, these things seemed to matter less.  I'm not exactly sure why.   

On that trip, we ate at the Big Texan Steak House in Amarillo, toured the White House and the Capitol, saw Mt. Rushmore, NYC, The Great Wall Drug Store in SD, and a million other sites guided faithfully by AAA printed "Triptik" maps.

I think we'll probably graduate to a motor home in the next few years, and I'll still require seat belts, etc. but the idea is still the same.  A family that spends time together trippin' around the US builds bonds that last a lifetime.  The kids may complain a bit and inevitably your wife will berate you for not stopping  to use the restroom when you had the chance...but in the end, you'll cherish these trips and memories they forge.  Maybe your thirty something kids will write about them someday too.

Paper Blogging & the Circle of Life

My wife brought the mail into today and much to my surprise, I received a "blog comment" on a real post card (that's a paper missive for the younger set).  The comment was a follow up on a "posting" I did in our local newspaper the Des Moines Register.  I responded to an editorial board opinion piece titled, "Pave Way For Preschool For All Iowa Children. The editorial board's penchant for spending my money seems never ending but I digress.

The crux of the story is the following non exaggeration.  Iowa needs to pay for preschool for everyone and for daycare before and after because it's a proven concept that preschool educated kids do better.

This idea is flat out wrong and I wrote the newspaper with my comments.  Here they are below and (linked)

The magic money tree must have sprouted here in Des Moines with all of the warm weather. At least that's the feeling I get when reading your gushing editorial about providing preschool and "wraparound child care" to everyone.

The piece builds from a "widely understood" truth that odds of future success are improved by attending preschool. I've seen plenty of alternative opinions that show unstructured play time being equally important to early development.

Now on top of paying yet more money for this option, you're calling for pre-preschool and post-preschool daycare funding! Let me clarify this concept to your readership: You'd like to outsource the management of children from early morning to evening with our tax dollars.

All of the statistics in the world cannot defeat common sense. Send your kids to preschool if you want to and can afford to, but please don't ask the general populous to provide nanny services at our expense. What a novel concept personal responsibility has become.

- Doug Mitchell,

Clive.

My commentary was received very positively by an Iowa reader near Sioux City Iowa.  I'll call her Mrs. W.  Mrs. W said the following in her post card sent to me:

Thanks for your thoughtful letter in Wednesday's Register.  I taught kindergarten a couple of years (after mothering my own 3 past that stage) and learned the "common sense" advice - that children should not be pushed at that age.  They just need time to mature & at different rates.  You are correct:  "unstructured play time is equally important to early development."  Do continue to share your wisdom:

Mrs. W.

That word:  Wisdom made me feel pretty darn good Mrs. W.

Synopsis:
I emailed a newspaper after reading a piece of printed paper.  My comments were read on paper and a postcard comment was submitted back to me.  Now I'm blogging on a paper comment and the circle is complete.  Now I'll follow up and send this printed post back to her.  The only piece missing was telepathy.  Blogs are just an extension of the conversation and I hope you'll join in like Mrs. W. did.

Drum Roll Please...For IconizeME

A few weeks back, after asking friends and associates where to get a "caricature" type logo made for my dad, I was provided with Iconizeme.com by Sandy over at Purple Wren.  I was looking to get an affordable logo built for my dads blog CarniceroLOCO.com that's "Crazy Butcher" in Spanish in case you didn't know.  My dad is many things including a philosopher, cool dude, and artist of the animal flesh out at Dutch Creek Foods in Sugarcreek, Ohio.

I am so pleased with how things turned out...and the entire deal was less than $100.  I received the following items for that fee:

1) Icon (for both Mac OS X and Windows XP Operating systems).

2) PDF vector based file, that you may resize anyway you want without any quality loss.

3) A high resolution jpeg file.

4) An avatar. A transparent gif file 128 pixels in height.

5) Transfer of all rights. Which means that this unique one of kind artwork is yours to use any way you see fit. We will only use it for display purposes in our samples area.

My artist was Jose Ramos and he did a GREAT Job.  He captured my thoughts and description expertly in his caricature.  I hope you agree and I highly recommend his work.

These pics:



Became this:

Love you dad.

Life with Super Heroes

You don't often get a glimpse of the "behind the scenes" life of super heroes.  Well.  I'm lucky enough to have two of them living in my house.  They're able to outsmart me with Johnny Cochran like logic...leap 2 couches in a single bound, bring me to tears with a simple unsolicited, "I love you daddy". 

Now please don't let their super hero identities out if you know me and my kids.  Pre-school teachers tend to treat heroes differently and we'd like to keep a sense of order in humble Des Moines.

Fall In Iowa

You now my wife said to a friend of ours while I was in her presence, (referring to Iowa), "You know, the kids would have never been able to play in the leaves and have this kind of seasonal fun if we didn't move here". That warmed my heart since I know this move has been tough on her. 

Here's what my boy thinks of Iowa.  Gosh darn I love this place.

Being A Mommy

Although I'm of the daddy variety...I'd like to share a glimpse of what happens sometimes when you're a mommy.  Below is a picture of my wife's shoes.  She was so excited to get out of the house alone, to do some shopping (I was on a biz trip for 3 days) that she mismatched and was in public for about 3 hours like this.  If anyone noticed, I bet they thought it was a fashion statement. 

The work, dedication, mental stamina, drama, self-control, anger management, etc...of motherhood is beyond my simple daddy brain.  Her job is so much harder than my small company, start-up, cash flow, blah blah work that it blows me away.  She deserves at least $250k/year for doing her job...and having to put up with me too (often the 3rd kid).   Can anyone really say that any job is harder than raising well adjusted, loving, kind, generous, educated, contributing kids?